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The Advisor’s Corner – When Should I Remain Quiet?

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Remaining quietQuestion:

As a leader, are there times when I should hold back my opinions?

StrategyDriven Response: (by Roxi Hewertson, StrategyDriven Principal Contributor)

It is a balancing act for leaders to know just how much to talk and how much to listen. Extroverted leaders have a particular challenge because they talk to think as an important part of processing information and ideas. They risk grabbing too much airtime and shutting others down. Conversely, Introverted leaders think to talk and can be challenged to communicate enough information at the right to meet their followers’ needs. Leaders make fewer wrong decisions when they ask more than they tell. Our focus today is on the more verbal leader. You should consider staying quiet when…

  1. It’s emotional – people need to believe they are being heard. Ask how you can help rather than assume you know.
  2. You come in during the middle of a story – no need to embarrass yourself!
  3. You are wondering if what you’ll say is offensive – if you have to wonder, and then it probably is.
  4. You are tempted to ‘fix’ the person’s problem and about to give advice no one asked you to give.
  5. Someone asks you a question that you should not or cannot answer fully or accurately.
  6. You think your idea is the best thing since shelled walnuts.
  7. When you ask a question, it is a good idea to wait and listen for the answer.
  8. You feel yourself jumping to conclusions without much information – not a good way to get your exercise!
  9. You’ve been drinking, partying, etc. and someone from work calls you – it’s far better to stay off the phone.
  10. You are angry or upset. First, take time to figure out why you feel the way you do, and then determine the best course of action to resolve the problem.

Consider a leader I worked with who was unable to say he did not know. He would give anyone an answer on any question asked of him. Yet, it would have been so easy, and correct, to say, “I don’t know the answer to that, but I’ll find out and get back to you.” He isn’t stupid, just misguided about what is expected of a good leader, including telling the truth. Of course, his credibility was negatively impacted.

I know another leader who routinely asks questions and listens intently to the answers. People tell her the truth because she honors them by deeply listening and with her thoughtful responses. She observes a great deal, is rarely fooled, and does not claim to have all the answers. Her credibility and reputation were beyond reproach.

It is true that quiet and contained leaders need to speak up when they have something meaningful to say. People need to understand and hear about their opinions, vision, values, decisions, and expectations. Staying quiet when you need to be heard can be just as problematic as talking too much.

Leaders need to engage others, share their ideas, and make decisions. It’s the balance of listening and talking that makes all the difference. It’s not an accident that the ratio of ‘listening’ body parts to ‘speaking’ body parts is 4:1 (ears and eyes: mouth).

For a quick indicator, try this: next time you are in a meeting, make a tic mark every time you open your mouth to say something. Keep track of whether you are telling or asking. Keep score for a day or two and you’ll have a good indication of whether you are talking too much, sharing too little, or have a healthy balance.

About the Author

Leadership authority Roxana (Roxi) Hewertson is a no-nonsense business veteran revered for her nuts-and-bolts, tell-it-like-it-is approach and practical, out-of-the-box insights that help both emerging and expert managers, executives and owners boost quantifiable job performance in various mission critical facets of business. Through AskRoxi.com, Roxi — “the Dear Abby of Leadership” — imparts invaluable free advice to managers and leaders at all levels, from the bullpen to the boardroom, to help them solve problems, become more effective and realize a higher measure of business and career success.

The StrategyDriven website was created to provide members of our community with insights to the actions that help create the shared vision, focus, and commitment needed to improve organizational alignment and accountability for the achievement of superior results. We look forward to answering your strategic planning and tactical business execution questions. Please email your questions to [email protected].

Human Performance Management – Behavioral Drivers

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StrategyDriven Human Performance Management ArticleOrganizational outcomes evolve from management decisions and employee actions. Understanding what shapes those decisions and actions provides causal insight to why particular outcomes occur and reveals those things that can be changed in order to produce different results.

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Additional Information

On the surface, it would appear that examination of the organization’s direction setting statements; documented processes and standards; and physical workplace environment will reveal the drivers of its members’ decisions and actions. This could not be more untrue.

Organizational documents often reflect what is deemed as ‘proper’ by society instead of being truly reflective of executive and manager intent. Identifying the real drivers of individual and collective behavior requires scrutiny into the unspoken policies – the actions – of the organizations leaders. When leader actions do not align with the written or spoken word, it is the actions that will always drive the behaviors. For additional information, read the following StrategyDriven articles:

Return to the Human Performance Management Forum

About the Author

Nathan Ives, StrategyDriven Principal is a StrategyDriven Principal and Host of the StrategyDriven Podcast. For over twenty years, he has served as trusted advisor to executives and managers at dozens of Fortune 500 and smaller companies in the areas of management effectiveness, organizational development, and process improvement. To read Nathan’s complete biography, click here.

Does Your Business Have True Leaders?

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Every single employee is important in an organization, but there is nothing more vital than having leaders to drive change and manage day-to-day work. These leaders might be supervisors, managers or partners, but they are hugely important regardless of what department of the business they work in. So it is time to figure out whether your business has true leaders! If you feel there is room for improvement, here are a few ways you can change the tide:

Invest in leadership programs
The first thing you can do is to take advantage of leadership program benefits. There are many different programs run by trained professionals, so you should be able to find one that suits your style of doing business. Your staff will learn invaluable skills that will help them to move your business forward over the coming weeks, months and years. They might need to learn to be better at delegation, or they might need to break out of their shell and stop being so shy. Other people can be too direct, so for them it could be learning to tone down their personality when in an office environment. Either way, this is one of the best investments you could make for your team.

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About the Author

From her 25 years in business, Elizabeth Hill aims to pass on knowledge and skills gained in that time through her writing. She loves walks in the countryside, spending time with family and friends, and is ever so ‘slightly’ addicted to coffee.

The Advisor’s Corner – Am I an At-Risk Leader?

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At-risk leaderQuestion:

Is there a way to tell if I’m an ‘at-risk’ leader?

StrategyDriven Response: (by Roxi Hewertson, StrategyDriven Principal Contributor)

Sure. You can ask yourself the questions below to get a good start and then you can and should regularly ask for direct or anonymous constructive feedback from your direct reports, peers, leader and others. You attitudes and behaviors are the biggest differentiators for leadership success. The four well researched core emotional intelligence metrics of: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management are directly correlated with successful or failing leadership.

Here are some key attitudes and behaviors to pay attention to because just being proficient in your technical area of expertise ignores the fact that a leader’s success is highly dependent on others’ contributions.

Ask yourself, do I…?

Read/understand emotions and recognize the impact of them on self and others. By developing an accurate view of, and aptly managing, one’s own emotional responses to situations, the rest of you skills and talents are magnified and leveraged. You regularly seek feedback and acknowledge when your impact and intent are out of synch. ?

Know your strengths and limitations. The best leaders understand they can never know and do everything… and don’t pretend to. Instead, they recognize what they are good at and leverage those skills. You surround themselves with people who are smarter and more experienced in areas where you have gaps, and you listen to them.

Know and have a good sense of your own self-worth and capability. There is a big divide between confidence and arrogance. Confidence comes from a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness. Arrogance comes from fear in many cases, and a sense of entitlement in others. You are confident based on an objective, not assumed point of view.

Think and act with optimism – see the ‘upside.’ There are two kinds of world view attitudes people project in the world—those who think and act through the lens of abundance, and those who think and act through a lens of scarcity. You go for solutions, new ideas, and silver linings, even in the worst of times. You may change course, but you never give up. You thoughtfully navigate your staffers to a better place – often to places they didn’t know or believe possible.

See and seize opportunities for contributing to the greater good. Despite conventional thinking, great leaders have low ego needs precisely because of their solid confidence and self-worth. You don’t waste time and energy shining up your image. Your integrity is without question. You are willing to partner with others and you listen with an objective and compassionate for the greater good of the organization.

Or Do I…?

Discount others’ emotions and perspective. Failing leaders don’t pick up on other people’s signals. Or, if they do, they don’t care, demonstrating a fundamental lack of empathy and social awareness. You cannot be a good leader without empathy, period.

Miss key organizational clues, norms, decision networks and politics. ?These ‘leaders’ have very little emotional intelligence in terms of self-awareness and organizational awareness. You are missing clues, haven’t developed a wide network, and operate more like individual contributor than a leader.

Blame others for outcomes. Failing leaders don’t ask; they tell. You need to make someone wrong to be right. The difference between accountability and blame is the way the issue or problem is approached. You go for blame not solution.

Avoid dealing with and resolving conflicts. ?Failing leaders avoid dealing with conflicts and don’t provide constructive feedback to others. They duck key relationship issues. You often think, “If I ignore it, it will go away.”

Isolate myself and/or my team from others in the organization. You think you and/or your immediate team are better/smarter/righter than everyone else. These leaders are happiest in their ‘silo,’ rarely sharing resources or knowledge. You believe no one understands you or your work.

About the Author

Leadership authority Roxana (Roxi) Hewertson is a no-nonsense business veteran revered for her nuts-and-bolts, tell-it-like-it-is approach and practical, out-of-the-box insights that help both emerging and expert managers, executives and owners boost quantifiable job performance in various mission critical facets of business. Through AskRoxi.com, Roxi — “the Dear Abby of Leadership” — imparts invaluable free advice to managers and leaders at all levels, from the bullpen to the boardroom, to help them solve problems, become more effective and realize a higher measure of business and career success.

The StrategyDriven website was created to provide members of our community with insights to the actions that help create the shared vision, focus, and commitment needed to improve organizational alignment and accountability for the achievement of superior results. We look forward to answering your strategic planning and tactical business execution questions. Please email your questions to [email protected].

Blurred Lines: Setting Healthy Boundaries at Work

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Success in the workplace depends on your ability to relate effectively to people. Research shows that 60-80% of all difficulties in organizations stem from strained relationships between employees, not from deficits in an individual employee’s skill or motivation.1

Difficult workplace relationships are far more than a nuisance; they can cause anxiety, burnout, clinical depression and even physical illness.

Healthy relationships at work can propel you to great heights of achievement; dysfunctional or toxic ones will tether you to mediocrity. When we mismanage relationships, the fall-out affects productivity and quite possibly our ability to advance. Your success at work depends on your ability to set the kinds of boundaries that encourage mutual respect and keep the focus on productivity.

7 Tale-Tell Signs of a Toxic Relationship

You’re in a toxic professional relationship with a boss or peer when they:

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About the Author

Van MoodyField expert Van Moody is the author of The People Factor (an upcoming release by publisher Thomas Nelson) and a motivational speaker who advises on matters related to relationships as they pertain to friends, family, significant others and the workplace. He is a ‘People Scholar’ who helps others build their ‘Relational IQ’ to achieve success at home, in their social circles, and in business. He may be reached online at www.vanmoody.com.

Reference

1. Association for Psychological Type International, APTI