A different kind of thanks. Yours.

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As the commercialism of Thanksgiving fades into the commercialism of Christmas (or whatever name you’re allowed to call it these days), several thoughts have occurred to me that will impact you as a person, you as a salesperson, and your business.

People try so hard to express good cheer in the holiday season they often miss the mark. “Don’t eat too much turkey!” or “Don’t drink too much eggnog!” is your way of saying, I have nothing new to say.

My bet is your ‘thank you’ is somewhat like your mission statement. It’s there, but it’s relatively meaningless, and no one can recite it. (Most employees, even executives, can’t recite their own mission statement, even under penalty of death.)

HARD QUESTIONS:

  • Why is this the only season we give thanks?
  • How sincere is your message, really?
  • Why do you find it necessary to thank your customers at the same time everyone else is thanking their customers?
  • If you’re thanking people, what are you offering besides words to show them you value and care about them?
  • Why do you have a shiny card with a printed message and foil stamped company signature – and NOTHING personal?

HERE’S AN IDEA: Why not start by thanking yourself? Thank yourself for your success, your good fortune, your health, your family, your library, your attitude, your fun times, your friends, and all the cool things you do that make you a happy person.

If you’re having trouble thanking yourself, that may be an indicator that things aren’t going as well as they could be. In that situation, any thanks you give to others will be perceived somewhere between ‘less than whole’ and ‘totally insincere.’

I don’t think you can become sincerely thankful to others until you have become fully thankful TO yourself and FOR yourself. And once you realize who YOU are, your message of thanks will become much more real, and passionate, to others.

NEWS REALITY: The good news is this is the holiday season. The bad news is it’s so full of retail shopping incentives, mobs of people, and ‘today only deals’ that the festivity of Thanksgiving is somewhat lost in the shuffle.

Black Friday and Cyber Monday – or wait, is it Cyber Tuesday, or Small Business Saturday, or Throwback Thursday? Whatever it is, it’s a strategy for advertising and promoting. And I’m okay with it, totally okay with the free enterprise system, I just think the hype of it has become more dominant than the giving of thanks and the meaning of the season.

Call me old-fashioned, or call me traditional, but I don’t think you can call me ‘wrong.’ I want our economy to be strong, but not at the expense of celebration, family time, and personal time to thank yourself for who you have become, and who you are becoming.

TRY THIS: Sit around your dinner table this Thanksgiving and have each person at the table make a statement as to what they are grateful for and who they are grateful to. Then have them say one thing about themselves that they are thankful for.

This simple action will create a sense of reality around your table that will be both revealing and educational. It also wipes away all the superficial undertones often associated with family holidays.

Why not ask people to recall their best Thanksgiving ever, or the person they miss the most, or the most important thing they’ve learned as a family member – and to be thankful for them or that.

BACK TO YOU: Sit down and make a list of your best qualities. Your personal assets, not your money or your property. The assets you possess that you believe have created the person you are. Your humor, your friendliness, your helpfulness, your approachability, your trustworthiness, your honesty, your ethics, and maybe even your morality. (Tough list, eh?)

And as you head deeper into this holiday season, perhaps next year’s intentions and focus (not goals and resolutions) will be more about building personal assets and building capabilities you can be thankful for and grateful for.

For those of you wondering, “where’s the sales tip?” Wake up, and smell the leftovers! I’m trying to help you sell you on yourself.

Once you make that sale, once you become the best you can be for yourself, then it’s easy to become the best you can be for others, and present yourself in a way that others will buy.

It’s the holidays baby, go out and thank yourself!

Reprinted with permission from Jeffrey H. Gitomer and Buy Gitomer.

About the Author

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible, Customer Satisfaction is Worthless Customer Loyalty is Priceless, The Little Red Book of Selling, The Little Red Book of Sales Answers, The Little Black Book of Connections, The Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude, The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way, The Little Platinum Book of Cha-Ching, The Little Teal Book of Trust, The Little Book of Leadership, and Social BOOM! His website, www.gitomer.com, will lead you to more information about training and seminars, or email him personally at [email protected].

Blurred Lines: Setting Healthy Boundaries at Work

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Success in the workplace depends on your ability to relate effectively to people. Research shows that 60-80% of all difficulties in organizations stem from strained relationships between employees, not from deficits in an individual employee’s skill or motivation.1

Difficult workplace relationships are far more than a nuisance; they can cause anxiety, burnout, clinical depression and even physical illness.

Healthy relationships at work can propel you to great heights of achievement; dysfunctional or toxic ones will tether you to mediocrity. When we mismanage relationships, the fall-out affects productivity and quite possibly our ability to advance. Your success at work depends on your ability to set the kinds of boundaries that encourage mutual respect and keep the focus on productivity.

7 Tale-Tell Signs of a Toxic Relationship

You’re in a toxic professional relationship with a boss or peer when they:

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About the Author

Van MoodyField expert Van Moody is the author of The People Factor (an upcoming release by publisher Thomas Nelson) and a motivational speaker who advises on matters related to relationships as they pertain to friends, family, significant others and the workplace. He is a ‘People Scholar’ who helps others build their ‘Relational IQ’ to achieve success at home, in their social circles, and in business. He may be reached online at www.vanmoody.com.

Reference

1. Association for Psychological Type International, APTI

Who is Martin Rooney? And why you need to know.

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In early August I got a call from a guy named Martin Rooney who had just moved to Charlotte from New Jersey. Turns out we had a mutual friend who insisted Martin and I meet.

I agreed to meet. He’s a new guy in town and he’s a friend of a good friend. We’d have a short meeting and be done. So I scheduled a 30-minute breakfast.

At breakfast, Martin and I began to talk. Three hours later, we were still talking.

We talked sales, martial arts, fitness, health, speaking, writing, and 100 other things. We exchanged books and agreed to carry the conversation deeper. Martin agreed to help me get ‘in better physical shape’ at his training facility.

Martin Rooney bills himself as a Fitness Philosopher. But he is at the top of his profession as both a trainer and a speaker on fitness. He has been a trainer-consultant to athletes from the NFL, MLB, NBA, and has trained numerous Olympic medalists. He produced the fastest athlete at the NFL Scouting Combine four times. One hundred of the athletes Martin has trained have been drafted to the NFL, and the contracts signed were in excess of a billion dollars. Not bad.

My training is taking place at one of the facilities he licenses in his, ‘Training for Warriors’ program. He now has over 70 locations worldwide and over 1,000 trainers have become certified in his training system. Not bad.

So, what’s the attraction? Adonis wants to train an overweight old man. Doesn’t seem like a fit – until you discover our mutual passions: thinking, writing, and speaking. We also both have four daughters, and we’re both from New Jersey. We are helpers at heart, and we exchanged amazing ideas in the first three hours. So many ideas that I believe I have found a new life-long friend. Not bad.

He gave me a copy of his book Rooney’s Rules. He creates a new health, fitness, sales, philosophical rule every day.

Here are a few examples of his philosophy, his thinking, and his writing:

  • Want to be REMEMBERED tomorrow? Then don’t FORGET to do something great today.
  • You don’t become the thing you THINK about all the time. You become the thing you DO all the time.
  • The real garbage holding you back is all the time you throw away.
  • Try new things. Biting into the unknown may be the best way to cut your wisdom teeth.
  • Success may have less to do with the depth of your background than it does with the strength of your backbone.
  • When fighting this battle called life, taking yourself lightly may be your heaviest artillery.
  • Hindsight is worthless until you are able to use it to gain insight that can be used to positively affect your Foresight.
  • Algebra and Trigonometry are less important than learning to correctly add your strengths, subtract your faults, divide your time and multiply your talents.
  • Just like a well-prepared meal, a well-prepared day often ends with a clean plate.
  • If you aspire to retire after building an empire, the best way is to inspire as many people before you expire.
  • Most people often develop a weak set of knees when it comes time to take a stand for themselves.
  • Perhaps the most important thing you can be when you grow up is Yourself.
  • The key to confidence has less to do with inborn talent than it does with ingrained practice.
  • Just like the tide, you will rise or fall as a result of the most influential bodies around you.
  • The Road to Success does not intersect with the Path of Least Resistance.
  • Joy follows success. Success follows experience. Experience follows failure. Don’t fear failure. Without it there is no joy.
  • Your life will not be measured by how many days you get to ‘take off,’ but instead by how many of the days you ‘take on.’
  • The easiest way to lead an unsuccessful life is to work hard all day to get out of a hard day’s work.
  • Most people think the difference between easy and hard can be found in the problem. Successful people know it’s found in your head.
  • Your Reputation and Credibility are just like your muscles. They take years to develop but can be lost in a short time of misuse.
  • Action is your most important export. Better to use it up in the storefront than to keep it stored away in the warehouse.
  • You’re a product of your priorities. You have 168 hours a week. If you can’t find five to workout, you’re not busy; you’re insane.
  • Don’t go ‘halfway’ with anything you do. Either go ‘all out’ or not at all. Your ‘whole heart’ always beats your ‘half ass.’
  • Make your enthusiasm for success stronger than your fear of failure and you will become unstoppable.
  • One way to stand out is to be kind, fair and hard working in a world that often isn’t.
  • Unlike a great steak, great effort can be rare and well done at the same time.
  • Waves of problems will always break on the shores of your life. It is not the wave, but how each is ridden that will reveal you.

Pretty cool, huh? Martin Rooney is a deep thinker and doer who is able to express himself in a very intelligent and thought-provoking way.

He’s putting me through my paces. And I’m loving it.

SO FAR: I have been to Martin’s workout facility six times. I’m getting personal training from a world master. And it’s a fun exchange of ideas along with the grunting. I love it. I am building strength and friendship at the same time.

Reprinted with permission from Jeffrey H. Gitomer and Buy Gitomer.

About the Author

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible, Customer Satisfaction is Worthless Customer Loyalty is Priceless, The Little Red Book of Selling, The Little Red Book of Sales Answers, The Little Black Book of Connections, The Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude, The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way, The Little Platinum Book of Cha-Ching, The Little Teal Book of Trust, The Little Book of Leadership, and Social BOOM! His website, www.gitomer.com, will lead you to more information about training and seminars, or email him personally at [email protected].

Do your people WANT to listen to you?

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I’m at a corporate conference about to give my 90-minute, customized, personalized talk. I spent hours preparing it – as I do all my talks – and I’ve spent the last 20 years improving my speaking, presentation, and performance skills.

I’m not just a speaker. I’m a student speaker.

Anyway, before my talk, the two corporate leaders of a multi-billion-dollar company addressed the gathered 200 in the audience. The attendees are eager to hear their words and looking for (hoping for) inspiration and direction.

Unfortunately, they didn’t get either.

The leaders, although smart and capable, are HORRIBLE presenters. I guess they don’t consider the skill important enough to master. Not good. They have a responsibility to be GREAT. Their people are counting on it.

REALITY QUESTION: How’s your leader? How are his or her presentation skills? REALITY QUESTION: How good of a presenter are you?
REALITY QUESTION: Do your people, your audience, and your customer WANT to listen to you? Or do they HAVE to listen to you?
REALITY QUESTION: When you’re giving a talk or making a presentation, how compelling is your message?
REALITY QUESTION: Are you afraid to give a talk? NO – you’re just unprepared. Or not prepared enough to own the talk. NOTE WELL: You can never own the prospect, the customer, or the audience if you don’t own the presentation.

When you give a talk or make a presentation, make certain you understand:

  • What your engagement points are.
  • How you want the audience to walk away feeling.
  • What you want the audience to do tomorrow?

BIG SECRET: Think of it as a performance, not a presentation.
BIGGER SECRET: Never stand behind a podium. Get down off the platform and walk around.
BIGGEST SECRET: Learn to perform by singing Karaoke. (I did.)

If you’re giving a speech (and you should be in order to be perceived as a leader), or making a presentation, there are some strategies and elements you must employ in order to ensure maximum attraction, engagement, connection, and maybe even sale…

1. Use genuine humor. Start with a comment or story that leads to BOTH laughter and learning. Go on YouTube and look at my videos. They will provide answers tohumor and education. At the end of humor is the height of listening.
2. Ask poignant questions. Ask people what they’re hoping for. Make the people you’re addressing THINK. Especially about themselves.
3. Ask intellectual questions. Talk about their experiences and yours. Show wisdom. Ask about subject matter knowledge.
4. Tell a story that relates to you AND them. Real life experiences are both relatable and create incentive to take action. NOTE WELL: Facts and figures are forgotten. Stories are retold.
5. Customization based on their real world. The people you present to only care about themselves and their issues. Focus on that.
6. Incorporate their philosophy, mission, brand, and theme. The more you do, the more respect you will gain.
7. Give 5-10 major points they can walk away with and use immediately. Give ideas they canuse. That’s what preparation is all about.
8. Have simple slides. Make certain your slides are easy to follow, fun, and readable. And there should only be one point per slide.
9. Very little talk about you. Not who you are. Rather, what you do and how you can help them.
9.5 End with emotion. (Maybe even ask for the sale.) Family or other concepts the audience can relate to and identify with.

At the end of your presentation/performance…

  • You want the audience to react and respond. Buy, do better, do new things, applaud, or STAND and applaud. The quality of your talk will be the determining factor.
  • You want the audience (or the prospect or the customer) to remember you and the moment. The only way that happens is if you perform remarkably.
  • You want outcome and buzz as a result of your words, ideas, value, and inspiration. You seek a favorable outcome. So does the person receiving your message. Was it ho-hum, or worth talking about? Was it value driven to a point of taking action, or was it without punch or inspiration?

The ultimate goal is to have impact over time. If you are able to follow-up by getting people to subscribe to your blog or ezine, you can actually document and measure the success of your ideas, product, or service. And that feedback can drive your success if you pay attention to it.

Want a report card? Video your presentation and watch it twice. Once for the pain, and once to take self-improvement notes. The best and toughest presentation skill lesson in the world is the one you give yourself.

Want a path to success? Commit to personal presentation skills improvement. Take a Dale Carnegie course and join Toastmasters. Give talks at your local civic association. Not only are sales leads there, it’s also a relaxed, learning opportunity. Take it.

Reprinted with permission from Jeffrey H. Gitomer and Buy Gitomer.

About the Author

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible, Customer Satisfaction is Worthless Customer Loyalty is Priceless, The Little Red Book of Selling, The Little Red Book of Sales Answers, The Little Black Book of Connections, The Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude, The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way, The Little Platinum Book of Cha-Ching, The Little Teal Book of Trust, The Little Book of Leadership, and Social BOOM! His website, www.gitomer.com, will lead you to more information about training and seminars, or email him personally at [email protected].

Leadership words that need to be banned. Forever.

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Pabulum leadership words really bug me – but not as bad as they may bug you if they’re uttered by your leader.

Leaders are known by their words, deeds, actions, values, principles, and by the people they attract both on their team and in the world, but…

  • It’s their words that set the tone for the environment.
  • It’s their words that start the internal chatter.
  • It’s their words that start their internal reputation.

…THEN it’s the actions that follow. All are studied and judged by the team.

OBVIOUS OBSERVATION: Great leaders attract great people. So why is there so much leadership mediocrity? Must be their words (and the way they’re spoken)!

I read a lot of stuff about leaders and leadership. Below are a bunch of leadership ‘words‘ (in no particular order) that sound good, but mean virtually nothing. You’ve heard them, and groaned about them.

I’m defining several of the words I have an issue with (cannot stand), in italics, then explaining why I have the issue, challenging the status-quo, and suggesting better words, replacement words, substitute words, in ALL CAPS, and explaining my reasons.

  • Embrace means you’re ok with it, but not necessarily a participant – not good. I don’t want leaders to ’embrace change.’ I want a leader that takes ACTION. ACTION is a better word, because it means something’s happening.
  • Accountable means they fess up if (and after) something goes wrong, and results are measured. RESPONSIBLE is a better option. Be responsible for yourself and to yourself. Be responsible for your words and deeds. Be responsible for your attitude. Be responsible and take responsibility for your achievements.
  • Effective – to me, effective means mediocre. Sort of carries a ‘so-what’ feeling to it. I really don’t want an effective heart surgeon. I want the BEST. He’s an effective salesman? Or he’s the BEST salesman? Which would you rather have?
  • Diversity – I really don’t know what this means in business. It’s a word spoken by many, understood by few. I guess it refers to hiring and doing business with all types of people and businesses. Sad that the world has to come to this. It seems forced. When leaders preach diversity, they have to make a special effort, rather than a natural effort. I prefer the word INCLUSIVE. It tells a deeper tale of involvement, and is a positive word that needs no defining. It’s also singular. I’m inclusive. “I’m diverse” or “I’m all about diversity” sounds contrived.
  • Focus – this is a word that means the leader is ‘honed in on’ something, and that’s what he or she is paying major attention to. I would rather know from my leader what his or her INTENTION is, and what the intention is to do something about what you’re focused on. Just because you’re focused on something doesn’t mean you intend to do something about it.
  • Understand – you’re kidding me, right? This is a totally weak and passive word. Bob understands or Bob is understanding. So what? Is Bob doing anything about it? That’s leadership. I want someone that knows what to do, and does it. I want an EXPERT. When I have an issue, do I want to bring it to someone who understands – or do I want to bring it to an expert?
  • Paradigm – This is a two-decade old word that has lost its way. Sometimes it’s accompanied by the word ‘shift’ and means there’s a new way. Or to add to this corporate speak dialog, the word ‘change’ is added as well. Change is arguably the most negative word in business besides bankrupt. A better word is OPPORTUNITY. When change occurs or there’s a paradigm shift, doesn’t it make a whole lot more sense to look for the opportunity? I agree.
  • Results – Bob is results-oriented. Bob focuses on results. Not good. Bob needs to lead his people, and convey his intensions. A better word is OUTCOME. OUTCOME takes both people and task into consideration AND stresses what happens after completion.
  • At the end of the day is a summary of expectations and predictions – usually stated in the negative. When someone says this I can assure you they’re just searching for words. At the end of the day has no alternative – the phrase should just be eliminated – forever.

REALITY: Think about all these words in a group. As a leader, which group would you like to have attributed to you?

GROUP ONE: Embrace, accountable, effective, diversity, focus, understand, paradigm, results, at the end of the day.
GROUP TWO: ACTION, RESPONSIBLE, BEST, INCLUSIVE, INTENTION, EXPERT, OPPORTUNITY, OUTCOME.

Group TWO will consist of proactive, powerful, respected, followed leaders. Group ONE will consist of reactive, weak, disrespected leaders that will lose their best people – to the leaders of group two. Embrace that paradigm.

Reprinted with permission from Jeffrey H. Gitomer and Buy Gitomer.

About the Author

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible, Customer Satisfaction is Worthless Customer Loyalty is Priceless, The Little Red Book of Selling, The Little Red Book of Sales Answers, The Little Black Book of Connections, The Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude, The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way, The Little Platinum Book of Cha-Ching, The Little Teal Book of Trust, The Little Book of Leadership, and Social BOOM! His website, www.gitomer.com, will lead you to more information about training and seminars, or email him personally at [email protected].