Your Look. Your Personality. Your Brand Voice.

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The best brands connect with consumers and build long-term relationships through carefully crafted and controlled messaging. A logo, alone, is not enough. You see – once a small business has a strong logo, it’s important to bring the brand to life by developing a brand voice. No matter how small the business, putting a face behind the brand and building a brand voice is key to driving the conversation, building relationships, and standing out from the crowd.

Even more, a clear brand voice transforms a brand from just a product or service into a personality that’s consistent with the business’s values, target audiences and advertising goals. A brand voice can be used to inform all messaging choices a small business brand must make, from brochures and print advertisements to website content and social media interactions.

Why Is a Brand Voice Important for Small Business?

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About the Author

Dan AntonelliDan Antonelli has over 20 years’ experience in small business logo design and marketing strategy. As CEO and Creative Director of Graphic DSigns, Inc., The Small Business Advertising Agency®, he’s helped nearly a thousand individual brands recognize the better side of business. The definitive industry expert on logo design for small business, Dan has authored three books on the subject, including his latest ‘Building a Big Small Business Brand’, and established his agency as the premier brand-building agency for small businesses nationwide.

The Discipline of Listening

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Our brains make it difficult, if not impossible, to fully or accurately comprehend what our Communication Partners wish to convey. We hear their words, of course, but we often end up interpreting them well outside the intent of the Speaker. I spent 3 years researching and writing on this topic for a book, (What?) and came away in awe of the magnitude of this issue and how deeply our unconscious choices prejudice our conversations.

The Problem with Goal-Center Listening

As a coach to coaches, sellers, and managers, I’m painfully aware of how sellers often listen only to ‘recognize a need’, or coaches listen for a problem they’ve had success resolving before, or managers listen for a difficulty they know how to regulate.

By listening for something specific, we end up taking away a myth as meaning. With mischaracterized and potentially inaccurate data (compounded over the length of the conversation), we then have no accurate data with which to base follow-on decisions, not to mention that everyone potentially walks away from the conversation with mistaken beliefs, feelings, and expectations. And then we blame the Other for any failure. Sadly, because our brains don’t tell us they have misunderstood or biased what was meant (we actually believe we’ve ‘heard’ accurately), we’re rarely aware that we have missed the meaning or the possibility, until it’s too late.

Tips to Listen Accurately

Here are some questions to think about as you consider adding some discipline to your listening skills:

  1. Prepare and De-stress. Before each conversation, clear your mind of any expectations or hopes, or feelings from past conversations. Otherwise your brain will unconsciously seek confirmation (Confirmation Bias) for that very thing while ignoring or misconstruing possibilities (minimizing your chances of success or creativity).
  2. Humility and humor. Unless you have written a script that everyone speaking has signed off on, you have no way of knowing what your Communication Partner will say, mean, need, or feel. I often hear people attempt to push their own agenda and don’t recognize what the Other has conveyed. Since there is no such thing as win/lose, this tends to create lose/lose, although the offended Communication Partner might not mention it during the conversation.
  3. Flexibility. All conversations demand flexibility to be present to the messages within the dialogue that actually occurs. The larger the bias or expectation going in, the harder it is to achieve, the greater the gap in understanding and expectation, and the greater the fallout from unrealized possibility.
  4. Trust. I know it’s hard to walk away without getting exactly what you want, or to hear things that don’t match your needs or expectations, but somewhere in the conversation there is a creative win for everyone. It may not look or act like your dream, but it will be something that everyone can accept. Besides, if you’re not trusting the dialogue actually occurring, you’re merely pushing your own agenda. And then you can’t even trust the outcome you’ve devised.

Unless both sides of a conversation fully understand what the Other intends to convey, there is no reality to work with and everyone risks unnecessary failure or limited possibility: it might have been possible to achieve success in a different way, or maintain a relationship over time for future possibilities. In almost every in-person coaching session I have had, my client has missed real possibilities (even of getting exactly what they want) in pursuit of hearing what they believe they should hear.

Here are some questions to think about as you consider adding some discipline to your listening skills:

  • How adept are you at entering conversations with no needs, no expectations, no biases?
  • How capable are you of showing up in a conversation with the ability to have a We Space – not two “I’s” which lead nowhere except self-serving exchanges, but a genuine melding of the people involved to find the win for all?
  • What do you need to believe differently to recognize that when you enter conversations with personal biases, assumptions, and triggers, that you will only succeed those times when the Other has the exact same biases, assumptions, and triggers – and all those who could truly benefit from your expertise and heart will not be able to hear you either (regardless of how well-meaning or accurate you are)?
  • How willing are you to learn to show up with an open mind, recognize when you have biases or expectations and quiet them before starting the exchange?
  • How can you react to something you’re not prepared for in a way that encourages collaborative dialogue?

You can continue doing what you’ve been doing, of course. But for those times you seek excellence in your conversations, a bit of preparation is in order.

About the Author

Sharon Drew Morgen is a visionary, original thinker, and thought leader in change management and decision facilitation. She works as a coach, trainer, speaker, and consultant, and has authored 9 books including the NYTimes Business BestsellerSelling with Integrity. Morgen developed the Buying Facilitation® method (www.sharondrewmorgen.com) in 1985 to facilitate change decisions, notably to help buyers buy and help leaders and coaches affect permanent change. Her newest book What? www.didihearyou.com explains how to close the gap between what’s said and what’s heard. She can be reached at [email protected]

I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. Could you repeat that?

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“I didn’t hear you.”
No, you weren’t listening.

“Our people need to listen better.”
No, your people need to understand WHY they don’t listen.

REALITY: You quit paying attention for one reason or another, AND blame it on the person talking to you. Two rudes don’t make a right.

How do you listen? That’s both a question and an enigma. Listening is one of the BIG THREE in selling, the other two are asking (engaging), and being friendly.

If you ask most salespeople, they would admit that listening is their weakest quality. In part due to impatience, but mostly because they don’t know how. Or even deeper, they don’t know the components or factors that make up the ‘why’ of listening.

To complicate the listening process even further, there are manners in which people listen – no, not “please pass the salt” manners – attitude and mood manners. These manners can affect the listening competence level by more than half.

There are 3.5 opposite sets of manners of listening:
1. Active or passive.
2. Positive or negative.
3. Open or closed.
3.5 Distracted by other business or personal matters, or not distracted.

You can almost get the feeling and meaning of these manners without me explaining them.

Listening is also broken down into elements. Each representing a ‘why.’ I have added some additional description to clarify each element. And defined a few.

The good elements of listening are:
Listen with the intent to understand. A sermon. A movie. In a classroom.
Listen with the intent to take action. Someone giving instructions.
Listen with the intent to learn. A teacher. A trainer. A seminar leader.
Listen with the intent to enjoy. Music. Sounds of nature. Waterfalls. A crackling fire.
Listen with the intent to remember. Driving directions. A website address. A phone number.

WHO you’re listening to can have a huge impact on the quality of your listening. Your mother, your boss, your spouse, your kids, your best friend, your favorite celebrity, someone you like, or someone you dislike, can affect the outcome of your listening ability. It’s their words, your mood, and your level of respect, that make up the listening effectiveness model.

The bad elements of listening are:
Listen with the intent to respond. This is where interruptions occur. You have something to say, or think you already know the answer. You start responding BEFORE the other person has finished talking. The first ‘listen’ should be: listen with the intent to understand. THEN you can respond with the full knowledge of what has been communicated. CURE: Just ask the person if they have finished their thought BEFORE you respond.
Listen with the intent to figure out an angle (manipulate). Interacting with a customer during a selling situation.
Listen because you have to obey (or try to worm out of it). Parents, teachers, and bosses top the list.
Listen because you are forced to. Your boss, teacher, or parents yelling or disciplining you.
Listen with the intent not to pay attention. Tuned off because of your unhappiness or ill feeling towards the person speaking.
Listen with the intent to argue. Whenever you’re in an argument or fight, listening is overpowered by anger and negativity.

There is also the ever popular, pretending to listen, but in another world. You have other things on your mind that are more powerful than what is being said, so you tune out whoever is speaking.

Telltale signs of not listening? Asking people to repeat. Getting instructions wrong. Making mistakes on the job. Getting rejected.

Have you ever heard someone say, “Now everybody listen-up, this is important.” What does that mean? It means that without that preface to whatever is being said next, the odds are that very few, if any, are paying attention to the person speaking.

Think about it, does Bill Gates walk into the room and say, “OK everybody listen-up?” Billy Graham? Steven Jobs? Madonna? Michael Jordan? Ted Turner? No, they walk into a room and everyone says, “SShhhhhhhh, it’s…” A hush falls over the room like a magic spell, and everyone in the room is “all ears.”

The three best states to be in when listening are: the state of calm, the state of happy, and the state of willing. These are “ear opening” states. (The worst listening states are the state of New Jersey and the state of New York. Many people there already know everything.)

FINAL SECRET: I know all of you are looking for the silver bullet that will make you an instant better listener. I’ve got it for you. Two words, and they’re not ‘shut-up.’ The secret words and action of listening are: ‘take notes.’ When you take notes, you show respect, always ‘hear,’ and have a reference to help you remember what was said or promised.

I have a list of things that negatively affect the listening stream. A self-awareness list to help you understand WHY you’re a poor listener. Go to www.gitomer.com – register if you’re a first time visitor – and enter the word WHAT? in the GitBit box.

Reprinted with permission from Jeffrey H. Gitomer and Buy Gitomer.

About the Author

Jeffrey GitomerJeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible, Customer Satisfaction is Worthless Customer Loyalty is Priceless, The Little Red Book of Selling, The Little Red Book of Sales Answers, The Little Black Book of Connections, The Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude, The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way, The Little Platinum Book of Cha-Ching, The Little Teal Book of Trust, The Little Book of Leadership, and Social BOOM! His website, www.gitomer.com, will lead you to more information about training and seminars, or email him personally at [email protected].

Our Listening Biases Restrict Success

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The problem with accurately hearing what others mean to convey is not that we don’t hear their words accurately. The problem is in the interpretation. During the listening process, our brains arbitrarily filter out, or reconfigure the uncomfortable, unknown, or confusing, to make what’s been said match something we’re more familiar with. And it fails to inform us of its creative editing.

As a result, we’re left understanding some fraction of what our Communication Partner(CP) meant to convey. So if I say ABC and your brain tells you I’ve said ABL, you not only have no way of knowing that you’ve not understood my intended message, but you’re thoroughly convinced you heard what I ‘said’. Obviously, this interpretation process puts relationships and communication at risk.

Case Study of Partnership Lost

While at a meeting with co-directors of a company to discuss possible partnering, there was some confusion on one of the minor topics:

John: No, SDM, you said X.
SDM: Actually I said Y and that’s quite a bit different.
John: You did NOT SAY Y. I heard you say X!!!
Margaret: I was sitting here, John. She actually did say Y. She said it clearly.
John: You’re BOTH crazy! I KNOW WHAT I HEARD! and he stomped out of the room. [End of partnership.]

As our brains haphazardly and unconsciously interpret for us, we naturally respond according to what we think we heard rather than what’s meant, restricting creativity, collaboration, and relationships.

How, then, do we have unrestricted conversations? Find ways to expand possibilities? Hear what others mean to say? Know how to take appropriate action, or negotiate creatively? I found the topic so interesting that I wrote a book on the gap between what’s said and what’s heard, the different ways our brains filter what’s been said (triggers, assumptions, biases, etc.), and how to supersede our brain to hear accurately (2 free chapters of What? Did you really say what I think I heard?).

Case Studies of Prospects Lost

One way our brains restrict our conversations happens when we enter with a preset agenda and unconsciously tell our brains to ignore whatever doesn’t fall outside the category. So when sellers listen only for ‘need’ they miss important clues that would exclude or enlist the CP as a prospect. A coaching client of mine had this conversation:

Seller: Hi. I’m Paul, from XXX. This is a sales call. I’m selling insurance. Is this a good time to speak?
Buyer: No. it’s a horrible time. It’s end of year and I’m swamped. Call back next week and I’ll have time.
Seller: ok.iwanttotellyouaboutourspecialsthatmightsuityourbusinessandmakeyoumorerevenue.

And the prospect hung up on him. Because the Seller used the traditional Buying Facilitation® opening for a cold call which welcomes prospects into a collaborative conversation, the prospect was willing to speak. But he lost interest when the Seller ignored his invitation and switched to taking care of his own needs with a pitch.

SDM: What happened? He told you he’d speak next week. And why did you speak so quickly?
Paul: He had enough time to answer the phone, so I figured I’d try to snag him into being interested. I spoke fast cuz I was trying to respect his time.

And this is a very simplistic example. Here is another one:

Halfway into a sales call, my client got hooked on his own agenda and didn’t hear reality:

Prospect: Well, we don’t have a CRM system that operates as efficiently as we would like, but our tech guys are scheduled 3 years out and our outsourcing group’s not available for another year. So we’ve created some workarounds for now.
Seller: I’d love to stop by and show you some of the features of our new CRM technology. I’m sure you’ll find it very efficient.
And that was the end of the conversation. He should have heard his intent and replied:
Wow. Sounds like a difficult situation. We’ve got a pretty efficient technology that might work for you, but obviously now isn’t the time. How would you like to stay in touch so we can speak when it’s closer to the time? Or maybe take a look at adding a few bells and whistles now to help out a bit while you wait?

By hearing and respecting the prospect’s status quo the seller would have created a ‘We Space’ where they both shared the same goals, and kept them speaking over time. Not to mention it would have been respectful. But the sellers, in both instances, only listened for what they wanted to hear and misinterpreted what was meant, and followed their own agenda at the cost of a real prospect.

We restrict possibilities when we enter calls with an agenda. We:

  • Misdefine what we hear so messages mean what we want them to mean;
  • Never achieve a true collaboration;
  • Speak and act as if something is ‘true’ when it isn’t and don’t recognize possibilities;
  • Limit our reactions and never achieve the full potential.

Here is a short list of ways to alleviate this problem (and take a look at What? for more situations and ideas):

  1. Enter each call as a mystery. Who is this person you’re calling? What’s preventing her from achieving excellence?
  2. Don’t respond immediately after someone has spoken. Wait a few seconds to take in the full dialogue and its meaning.
  3. Don’t go into a pitch, or make an assumption that a person has a need until they have determined they do – and that won’t be until much later in the conversation.
  4. Don’t enter a call with your own agenda. That leaves out the other person.

Prospects are those who will buy, not those who should buy. Enter each call to form a collaboration in which together you can hear each other and become creative. Stop trying to qualify in terms of what you sell. You’re missing opportunities and limiting what’s possible.

About the Author

Sharon Drew MorgenSharon Drew Morgen is a visionary, original thinker, and thought leader in change management and decision facilitation. She works as a coach, trainer, speaker, and consultant, and has authored 9 books including the NYTimes Business BestsellerSelling with Integrity. Morgen developed the Buying Facilitation® method (www.sharondrewmorgen.com) in 1985 to facilitate change decisions, notably to help buyers buy and help leaders and coaches affect permanent change. Her newest book What? www.didihearyou.com explains how to close the gap between what’s said and what’s heard. She can be reached at [email protected]

Even with Advanced Messaging for Business, Nothing Trumps a Classic Conversation

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The growth of alternative messaging systems for business has been remarkable. Startups like Slack reaching multi-billion dollar valuations nearly overnight and established companies like Facebook investing similar amounts into developing a platform dedicated to intra-organizational communications are fueling the drive toward new forms of communication. While these and other business messaging tools will help to reduce emails, replace meetings, and generally avoid bureaucracy all together, they can never fully replace voice interaction.

VirtualPBXIt’s Not What You Say, It’s How you Say It

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About the Author

Dan QuickDan Quick regularly contributes articles and research analysis on the telecom industry with a focus on cloud-based PBX systems, continuity protection, and distributed workforces. Links to his work can be found on the VirtualPBX.com blog and he can be reached for comments at [email protected].